An Extrovert’s Greatest Nightmare

Quarantine has been a lonely experience for everyone, but it’s crazy to see how differently certain people respond to it. I am an extrovert and I get my energy through being around other people, so to say I’ve been feeling down in the dumps would be an understatement. Only in the last couple days have I started back up in my schoolwork, and it’s quite overwhelming. The highlights of my days are Zoom sessions, whether or not I’m heavily participating. It’s just very nice to see other people’s faces and get some form of group interaction. The past two days have been spent almost entirely on schoolwork, but before I got blasted with too much to do, I filled my time with cooking/baking, music, and art. All of those are things I love, but they lose their charm when you have all the time in the world to be doing them, which is a lesson I’m grateful to be learning. In my most stressful moments of school, I would wish so badly to just have a long block of time to do whatever I pleased, and I think that having those hobbies be a break from the rest of life, instead of the only thing I have to do, is why I love them so much. It probably has something to do with the fact that I can’t be around friends, I’m sure I wouldn’t feel as annoyed if I still got to go hang out with people, but overall I’ve really grown to appreciate the idea being busy, and I long for the next time I get to feel busy again. My Floridian friend, Meg, said something along the lines of “There’s no satisfaction in binging a show when there’s nothing you’re procrastinating by doing so,” and that definitely sums up my opinion on all of my hobbies right now. My friend Abby, on the other hand, has really been thriving with this whole thing. She is pursuing a career in flute performance, and so she’s had the time she’s been wishing for for months(if not years) to practice hours a day. She’s heavily enjoyed hobbies like sewing, cooking, and other arts, and she is an introvert, so she’s not as heavily affected by not being able to be around people. Plus, she’s still been able to go on dates with her boyfriend, and all of her older siblings who had been moved out are back home for the time being, so she probably doesn’t even come close to feeling the same isolation others like myself are right now. It seems like overall, everyone has been more down in the dumps, but it’s a lot easier for some to find the silver linings than others. Abby said to me the other day over the phone, “It’s not in your character to enjoy something like this, you don’t have to force yourself to enjoy it. Maybe just work towards acceptance first and recognize that it will suck.” I don’t believe pessimism is ever the answer to a problem, but sometimes optimism is just exhausting and equally as unproductive. I can try to make the most of my time alone, but I think it’s been mentally tiring for me to try and make it the best time it can be, and that I just need to take a step back and let things be. That’s what I’ve tried to do in the past couple days, and while I haven’t tried as many new things or crafts, I’ve gotten back on schoolwork, so I’ll keep going with it and see where it takes me.