Time to Suck It Up and Get Back to Work

I haven’t blogged in a while, and there’s really no excuse now that we all have 24 hours of free time a day. I’ll just fill you in on what my life has been for the past couple weeks. I had a trip planned to Florida over spring break, and I did end up going, which became exponentially more controversial of a decision each passing day there. It becomes difficult to enjoy a visit back to your old family friend when the news and media is constantly reminding you that you’re a bad person for having gone anywhere but home. What made me feel better is that while I did travel in a plane, I flew from Belleville, IL to Sanford, FL. Both of those airports are relatively tiny, especially Belleville(my flight was the only one in the airport when I went and returned). Both flights had a maximum of 30 people on them, and I had a row to myself both ways, as I was traveling alone. Since I used to live in Florida, I wasn’t doing the tourist-y things. I spent half the week in the small town I used to live just spending time with my best friend and her family, and the other half of the week at a private beach house they rented on a small, private beach. It was the best case scenario for social distancing while traveling, although that didn’t stop me from feeling guilty during every moment of it. I’ve been home for 9 days now, and I still haven’t shown a single symptom, so I think I did alright. Being in Florida, despite the guilt, was a little bubble from this whole pandemic, and I almost wish that something would’ve happened to cause me to get stuck down there. Since coming back home, my mental health has taken a steady dip, and the fact that this whole thing is indefinite is not a good sign and doesn’t make it any easier. I have never been able to focus super well in my house, so my solution was always to go to the library if I needed to get a bunch of homework done, and now I have no other option than just sucking it up and trying my best at home. I’ve definitely been slacking(picked it up for creative writing, but no other class yet), and if I don’t change something about that soon, I am going to struggle through the rest of the semester. I never disliked school, but I never thought I’d miss it so much. I really hope we haven’t already seen our last day of school, but odds aren’t looking great. I just miss seeing people everyday so much- I’m definitely an extrovert in that I get energy through being around others, so this has already taken a huge toll on me. Again, though, I just need to suck it up because this is our reality for at least a month, and while most aspects of the world have stopped turning, school should remain a priority, even if I’m doing it all from home.